Fences Make Great Neighbors. Maybe Even Teammates.

“My new teammate is really struggling. She needs someone to talk to. I’m trying to love her well, to be there for her … but this is getting so draining!”


“I’m a husband, a dad, a church planter and team leader. I enjoy all these roles, but it feels like someone constantly needs something from me, and there just aren’t enough hours in the day. People tell me to prioritize and let some things go, but it’s all important. How can I say no to any of it?”


A woman pulling back a red curtain.

The whole idea of setting boundaries and saying no can feel selfish. Sometimes it can feel downright impossible, yet there are always more needs around us than we can possibly meet. When juggling multiple priorities, how do you even figure out what to say no to? And when is saying no not just acceptable, but even the loving thing to do?

A few questions to ask ourselves when making these decisions:

  • What am I responsible for and not responsible for in general? (It can help to define that first.) In this situation? Where does my responsibility end and someone else’s begin?

  • Would saying no here actually free me to meet other responsibilities with excellence?

  • How sustainable is my current pace? How would saying yes to this affect that?

  • Even though all these needs are valid and important, am I the best person to meet each of these needs? Which are uniquely my role to meet, and what other resources are available to help meet the other needs?

If you would like to work through these questions with a counselor, schedule your first session now by clicking Start Now.

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Preventing Burnout